I miss MySpace

I’m miserable tonight. If it was 2005 and I was was back in Los Angeles I’d share my sorrow through MySpace.

I miss the old Emo social network and all the self indulgent emotional outpouring that it encouraged.

Back in the day I would have thought nothing of updating my status to

“Can’t remember the last time I felt I was worth something”

or

“I have no fight left in me, when will the tears stop?”

MySpace used to let me enjoy being melancholy. The inevitable pre-poke messages of support used to make me feel listed to.

If I pulled a stunt like that on facebook I guarantee I’d have five fewer friends the next time I logged on. People just don’t want to hear it now they’ve stopped dying their hair black and wearing eye liner.

These day my friends would much rather hear about the woman on the hungerford bridge who slipped on, and then into a massive orange dog shit. That is a great story actually, if only I’d been quick enough to capture it on camera.

Sex

So……it looks like my sex tape has gone viral.

I’m quite surprised really. When you’re in semi-private club booth,  letting your hair down with half a dozen perfectly toned friends, the last thing you expect is for it to end up on the internet.

I can’t say I’m too bothered about it, some of the comments were really quite flattering.

In answer to your question Tony (nice profile pic by the way!) , yes I do always make that sound. Emily…..that’s the result of endless hours on the elliptical trainer. I never said it was easy to look this hot.

As ever, I have no regrets about my sexcapades, it was a bit of an ice breaker for me.  I had gone off sex since Lemon and I split. I was starting to think she might have been right when she threw the flat keys at me and hissed “You will never have it so good”

A few rounds of ‘Flip, sip or strip’ in the The Box proved her wrong there. You should try it, all you need is a coin and several bottles of spirits.

Right, I think there’s just about time to squeeze in an episode of Poirot before bed time.

Nighty night.

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