Maybe if I had come up with this chat up line myself I would met someone years ago

I was on a rather incredible second date recently, snogging in a pub, beaming broadly and generally wondering at what point someone would shout “get a room”

When we finally managed to prise our magnetic lips apart he came out with this blinder

 “Man, you’re so handsome you must have been photoshopped.”

I loved it. If you’re anywhere near as vain as I am you would have loved it too. There have been three more crackers like that since, but I’m keeping them to myself.

I think the fact that the fourth date lasted 49 hours is a good sign. I have lost count of which one we’re on now.

I am still a bit worried everything could go tits up. New love is a bit like a partially set jelly. If you wobble it too early you’ll end up with load of slop that doesn’t appeal to anybody. I am trying not to wobble.

By the way, raspberry is my favourite flavour jelly. My mum used to get me these weird opaque ones . My brother wouldn’t eat them. That is probably why I loved them…..I got twice as much.

God, I’m boring myself. Are you still here?

See you fuckers

Harrison

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