I was practicing my about the author photo face on the tube this morning.
I don’t want it to look too happy, I want people to look at it and think “Wow, that guy’s deep, what’s going through his mind? Loads probably.”
I think I nailed it somewhere between Chancery Lane and Oxford Circus.
I case you’re wondering, I haven’t actually written a book. I have some big ideas, I just can’t be arsed to do anything with them.
If you’re a young Londoner, the cover of a book is the only part of a book that really matters. It’s the cover that other people will see on the Tube, it’s a way to sell an idea of yourself to fellow commuters. A book on the tube is 60% fashion accessory and 40% entertainment, a big rectangular programmable mood ring. It’s partly due to this type of vanity that the kindle hasn’t totally killed off paper books.
Of course there is always that weirdo who displays something unbecoming. I saw a woman reading Bridget Jones’s diary on the tube recently and concluded that she already has, or is going to have at least 13 cats in her flat. Those who don’t know her name will call her ‘cat lady’ Those who know her name will call her ‘cat lady’
I’m currently reading ‘Discoverers of the Universe: William and Caroline Herschel. I’d like to think that when people see me flicking through the pages they think “Ooo he’s hot, and he looks like he works out”
They’ll probably just think “Nerd”
William Herschel is actually my second favourite scientist and will be the subject of my next painting if an actual photograph of him exists. He’s an all-rounder, an accomplished musician, then an astronomer, inventor and scientist. William Herschel discovered infrared by accident, found Uranus and its two moons while hunting for comets and made optical telescopes that were a quantum leap ahead of anything that had been made before. He also discovered two of Saturn’s’ moons, Enceladus and Titan
Unfortunately, he died before photography became mainstream, and I don’t want to paint a likeness of a painting. Oddly enough it was Herschel’s very own son who helped to bring photography to the masses. John Herschel invented the glass plate negative in 1839, seventeen years after his dad had popped his clogs.
It’s just struck me! The thing people will think when they see my book cover is the same as what you must all be thinking reading this
Point taken, I’ll not doubt have some sexier blog fodder from my round of dating. I’m lining them up this week. It’s all about quantity, they can’t all be pond life. While we’re on that theme…..I’m not kissing all these frogs, I’m just having awkward drinks with them and then legging it. I’ll skip saying anything about tadpoles, a pond theme can be taken too far.
Alright, I’ve got a party to get to.
See ya losers,
Magic hug x